Eff the goals! How do you want to feel?
It’s the end of January, you’ve had a few snow days and your Super Bowl party is right around the corner. How is it going with your resolutions and goals? Have you lost 30 pounds, gone to the gym every day, paid off your credit cards, gotten organized, quit smoking, given up drinking, and gone to bed by 11 PM every night? Or, have your goals and resolutions taken a different turn?
The word “G-O-A-L” can often turn out to be a dirty, four-letter word. Often times, goals are set because you’re not (fill in the blank) enough. You’re not thin enough, lean enough, attractive enough, strong enough, rich enough, or good enough. When setting goals comes from a place of “not good enough,” the deprivation and creation of unrealistic expectations begin. The long list is created of all the things that must be done to get lean, look younger, be attractive … be good enough.
Initially, you may feel enthusiastic or hopeful that this time is going to be different. You’re going to the gym, drinking more water, eating meals at home, things are going great. Then, it snows, or the weather delivers sub-zero temperatures, or you’ve had a hard day at work. Goals may turn into watching a season of Mad Men on the couch with a bottle of wine and a pizza. Then, the cycle into the abyss of self-loathing, shame, and guilt begins. You might call yourself names like “lazy,” “out-of-shape,” “hopeless,” or “weak.” Failure to meet your goals has turned into yet another way to berate yourself and feel like a failure.
What if you did things differently? What if you started doing everything based on how you wanted to feel? You would always have an inner guidance system to inspire every thought and action. Going to the gym because you want to feel confident feels very different than going to the gym to lose your back fat. Preparing a nutritious dinner at home because you want to feel gratitude feels different from another restrictive price you have to pay to be thin. When you make choices based on how you want to feel, you begin to make choices that feel like freedom rather than a punishment. You’ll want more of it. It makes every choice loving and easy!
Ready to go from feeling restricted to revived? Download this FREE 3-step assessment to turn choices into inspiration.
My Very Best,